The mating call: True Love

Christina Duzan- Lifestyles Editor 
2/3/12

The idea behind “true love waits” encourages adolescents and young
adults to abstain from sex until they get married. This helps prevent
sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancies. Many people
also choose to wait for religious reasons. While abstinence is the only
sure way to prevent STIs and unplanned pregnancy, knowledge and proper
precautions also will help prevent those consequences. 

Growing up in a conservative Christian family, abstinence was not only
taught, it was expected. Sex before marriage is wrong because “God says”
 was how I generalized what I was told. Sex was not discussed openly at
my house before I moved to college, and even now it is still an awkward
subject to approach my mom about.  So it is not a surprise that when I
lost my virginity at the age of 15 to my high school boyfriend, I did
not tell my parents right away. 

There are many reasons people have sex. I believe we are all searching
for something when it comes to sexual relationships. I have used sex as a
 way to show the love I already felt for the guy I was with, and I have
used it to satisfy a fleeting physical desire. It can also be used to
connect with another person and fill a void one feels. People have needs
 and want to be with someone, for however short a time, to satisfy those
 needs. 

For whatever reason people choose to have sex and regardless of how long
 they decide to wait, it is important that they are educated at the time
 of puberty on the effects of sex, both physically and emotionally.
Different options of contraceptives should also be discussed, so that
when a person loses his or her virginity it is an educated decision
rather than an impulsive action that could result in serious
consequences.

When I lost my virginity it was something my boyfriend and I had been
talking about and my way of trying to save a relationship that
ultimately ended.  I was naïve at 15. I did not understand the emotional
 and physical aspects that come with having sex.  Many of my friends
already were sexually active, and in a sense I thought it would make me
fit in more.  Coming from a family where it was expected I would not
have sex until my wedding night, I knew very little about preventative
measures.

Five years and a few sexual partners later, I wonder how much truth
there is to the “true love waits” campaign that my parents encouraged.  I
 do not believe in soulmates because I think we come across multiple
people in life whom we can love and with whom we make a life. It is a
matter of choosing who we want to get up and love every day.  In the
same respect, if we can love more than one person, then we can enjoy sex
 with more than one partner.

For those who choose to wait for sex until marriage, I admire their
decision.  It is not an easy thing to abstain from, especially in a
society where most aspects of life are highly sexualized.  I do not know
 if there is truth to the idea of true love waits in the sense that my
parents wanted me to believe.  However, I do know that waiting until one
 is in love with the person they have sex with is a much more meaningful
 experience.  For some people that means waiting until marriage because
it is the ultimate sign of love and commitment.  Personally, it means
waiting until I am in a relationship with someone I love.